Is Toxic Masculinity a Social Construct?

Toxic masculinity is the current buzzword but is it really a social construct?  And what really is toxic masculinity?

These questions have been basis of discussion since time immemorial with no conclusive answer forthcoming in the near future.

This blog will explore the idea of toxic masculinity as a social construct, its norms and effects to the society. The article will also offer solutions on how to combat it.

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Toxic Masculinity Norms

Being Dominant.

People with toxic masculinity want to exercise dominance over other people. They come out as go getters and want everything to go according to their desires.

Not being Emotional.

Being emotional means one is a weakling to them. Their stoicism is a way of portraying their strength.

Being Aggressive.

They are aggressive because they want things to work out the first time. In their mind, there is nothing called failure and they do everything in their power to get things done.

Violence.

Violence is a means of ensuring their safety, and they will be violent anytime they think someone is encroaching on their comfort zone.

Risk taking.

They take risks in life and failing means nothing to them. They will take every opportunity that promises them success without weighing the pros and cons of their decisions. They take the leap of faith first; they will suffer the consequences later.

Pursuit of Respect and Status.

For them respect means everything and to achieve it they should have status because they know society value people of stature. They will pursue by any means to have a social standing in the society.

Pursuit of Power.

Power is good to them and they will do everything to have power over others. They always want to have an edge as power makes them comfortable and fulfilled. Satisfaction will be guaranteed when they are at the top.

Being in Control.

They like being in control of every situation and sometimes this put them in conflict with other people.

Independence.

Being independent is paramount for people with toxic masculinity since they do not believe in relying on others. They will pursue independence .

Leadership.

To them they want to be ahead and that means they cannot follow. They prefer to lead than to be led.

How toxic masculinity affects individuals.

Loneliness: People with toxic masculinity traits tend to keep things to themselves and they shy off from the crowds. One may mistake them for being introverted but in reality they suffer in silence because they do not want the society to think of them as weak.

Emotional Detachment: Toxic masculinity tends to make a person feel emotionless and they find it difficult to be in and maintain a relationship. There will be fights in the relationship always because toxic masculinity does not give room for compromise.

Depression: When an individual has toxic masculinity traits, they will tend to over think and feel withdrawn from the world.  The result of this will be mental breakdown and the person will start showing signs of depression. To cure themselves, many opt for short cuts like suicide while others will go for drugs and substance abuse.

Anxiety: People with toxic masculinity will always be anxious about everything. However, they tend not to seek for help but revert to their colony and help themselves in a way they feel is perfect. Such ways may include anger, crying and shouting at anyone and everyone they feel is preventing them from having a good life.

Gender Based Violence: Many people with toxic masculinity are violent in nature and hate people of the opposite gender. They tend to feel that the other gender is making them go through what they are going through maybe due to past experiences and the only way to get this off their chest is by being violent. This way, they tend to think that they can put everything under their control.

Being Insecure:  Toxic masculinity makes one feel insecure and makes them doubt anyone and everyone that comes into their lives. They will have trust issues and this makes them feel insecure whenever they are around people.

Unhealthy relationships: Relationships are meant to last and make one happy but if a person has toxic masculinity they will not feel that happiness in the relationship. They will not get anything out of the relationship and will quit or bring fights every time.

Is it a social construct?

While some argue that toxic masculinity is a social construct, others take it as individual experiences and traditional expectations that influence the men to behave as they should and perform their gender duties. In other cultures it is okay for men to rule over women but in other cultures, both genders should have equality.

Others feel that people with toxic masculinity have a negative attitude towards those leaning towards same sex relationships. But in the real sense, everyone has a right to follow what they believe in of their own free will.

Globally the discussion is about equality, men and women having equal political space. Also sharing of roles, like men helping in the kitchen and taking care of the children while women help in the farm too. But cultural and political factors play a major role in how the society interprets this topic.

How to Combat Toxic Masculinity?

Treat people with kindness.

Educate people to understand that it is good to feel vulnerable and seek for help.

Attend inspirational workshops.

Create a network of friends who can stand with you when things go south.

Instead of judging people based on their gender judge them by their abilities.

Speak out when you see things going wrong in the society.

Take responsibilities for the decisions you make.

Conclusion

Toxic masculinity will remain a contested topic because of people coming from different backgrounds and having different beliefs. Also religion shapes how people think and relate with others. In reality the world as at now does not have a common law on how to treat people with toxic masculinity. While it is an inconclusive topic, the world changes every day and new beliefs and laws emerge which will definitely shape how the society will feel about toxic masculinity.