When Do I Give up on My Drug Addict Son?

Having a child who is a drug addict is a complex situation any parent can find himself in. To navigate this dilemma, it requires great compassion and wisdom. One should be thoughtful and weigh all the options carefully because any slight misstep can be disastrous.

Having a child who is already an addict is different from the one who is starting. This is because when one is starting you can still mold them by sensitizing them on the dangers of using drugs. But when one is already addicted, it becomes a disease which needs treatment. So the question is at what point should I give up? This article will answer this question by explaining the process of addiction, the signs and  the consequences and interventions to drug addiction.

Related Post: Signs You are in a Toxic Environment

What Contributes to Addiction?

1. Influence from friends

The youth are greatly influenced by their friends especially those who have been exposed to the harsh realities of the world. The kind of friends a child keeps will determine the kind of decisions they will make in their lives. This is because the birds of the same feather will always flock together.

2. Neglect by the parent

There are many challenges a child experiences while growing up and thus will need the attention of the parent. But if the parent is ignoring them, then they will seek solutions elsewhere and they might fall in the wrong hands. Parents are mostly occupied with looking for financial stability so that they can give their kids better lives and in the process leave out having time with them.

3. Social factors

The kind of social life that the kids lead will always determine the kind of behavior they will have. Some kids will align themselves to social support groups which will empower them to have new ideas. Others will resort to social groups which encourages moral decadence and disregard to the laid down norms and ethics.

4. Cultural factors

Some cultures have done away with traditions which set standards on how the adults and the youth should carry themselves. They have left everything to the discretion of the individual person and they will behave just as they wish. This makes it easy for the youth to do as they wish because no one will question them.

5. Technology

When parents don’t give attention to their children they will resort to finding the solutions from the media. And since the advance of the technology, internet is now accessible in most parts of the world and many kids will be able to access social media easily. The stuff they find there will shape their thoughts and behavior.

Signs of Addiction

1. Need for money

The child will be asking for money often and the parent will not get notice of what it is being used for. They will do everything possible to have money in their pockets and will not care how much it is. This frequent need for money is a sign that all is not well and the parent should quickly seek to understand where the problem is.

2. Emotional instability

The child will have mood swings and be reactive even to trivial matters. Their emotions will not be stable and even a simple problem they can blow it and turn it into a big scandal.

3. Self isolation

The child will always want to be left alone and most of the times they will lock themselves up with instructions not to be disturbed. This is because of the believe they have that drugs will give them the comfort they desire and make them forget about their problems. Self isolation is more common in the kids who are using drugs.

4. Defending certain type of friends

Every time the parent questions why the child is keeping a certain type of friends, the child will get defensive. They will not let anyone raise their concern against their friends and will build a wall between the parents and their friends. They believe that the parents are wrong and their friends are right.

5. Disregarding norms and ethics

Any child who has no respect to the rules of the society is a sign that something is amiss. When the child starts to question the traditions and look down on the elders then it means that something is driving them to do that. This is because a normal child will not just wake up and disrespect others or disregard the rules just like that.

Consequences of Addiction

1. Guilt

The guiltiness will not be felt by the child but the parent. He will be ashamed to raise his head amidst the circle of men and he will be guilty that he did not do anything to prevent his kid from being an addict. Being guilty makes it even hard for the parent to decide on they ways to help the child.

2. Isolation

The society will walk away from a family where the child is an addict and the friends will not want to be associated with them. Every opinion they raise is second guessed and every time they walk into a crowd there will be murmurs.

3. Broken families

Families will be broken because the loved ones will definitely takes sides. Some will be against the addict while others will support them. This will create a rift between the family members. The child who is an addict may even walk away from his kinsmen.

4. Lack of respect

The child will not respect his parents and will even talk down on them in front of their friends because this makes them be respected in the circle. The loss of respect will also be on the family because everyone will jeer them because they cannot discipline their child.

5. Lack of focus

For a better future, one must work hard while they are young. But if the child is always on a drinking spree then it makes it difficult for them to focus on their future. They will wake up every morning thinking about which place they will drink today. At this point, they will have no goals, no dreams and no vision to drive them.

Interventions by the Parent

1. Setting clear goals for recovery

Without having goals, it makes it difficult to have something to work on. Having clear goals in place will make it easy to have a direction and be able to evaluate how the interventions are faring on.

2. Assessing the kind of support to give

Every point of addiction requires a different kind of intervention. When its is at the beginning stage, then you can talk to the child but when it gets to full addiction, then it requires professional help. Therefore a parent should understand what stage the child is in.

3. Understanding the boundaries

There is a difference between empathy and closeness which can be a great enabler to addiction continuity. The parent should set up boundaries and make the child understand that as a parent they love them but they must correct them.

Conclusion

Drug addiction is not a one person dilemma but the society as a whole for the effects will be felt by everyone. The primary point of intervention to a child’s addiction is the parent but also the society plays a big role. The standards and norms are set by every society and they determine the kind of life the people will lead.

As a parent I should set clear goals and be committed if I want to ensure full recovery of the child. I must also understand my relationship with them if it is enabling instead of supporting them. Walking with them every step of the way does not mean I should sit back and assume things are okay, but I must set standards to evaluate their commitment.

By understanding that addiction is a complex issue, I must not rush to give up when the child is an addict. I should approach this issue with compassion and empathy so as to make an informed decision. Talking to the child one on one and understanding their point of view will help a lot. Thus I should do everything possible to make sure the child recovers. Giving up is not an option.