Self Harm: Why is Self Harm Addictive?
Self harm is a process where an individual who is overwhelmed with pain tries to get relieve through deliberate self injurious methods.
This behavior often leads to a grievous end, resulting in a person’s shortcoming in physical, emotional and social well being.
This article will dwell on the addictive power of self harm, its effects and how to help those who are suffering from self harm.
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Why Self Harm Is Addictive?
1. Gives peace of mind
Everyone yearns for a peace of mind, and more so those in distress. By self harming, the victim will earn a temporary relief from their pain. When they are in pain, the person will always be anxious and therefore seek every possible way to escape it. Through self inflicting pain, they tend to find the kind of peace they are seeking.
2. Social acceptance
No man is an island and therefore no one wants to be lonely even if they are in deep pain. Some will try to fill this gap of loneliness through self harm. This way they will be in a good position to fit into the social groups where they feel desired and accepted.
3. Earn trust from the peers
Peer pressure has a significant weight in the direction someone will take in their life. It has a bearing on their dreams, goals and vision and the person will always strive to be in the good books of their peers. Self harm is one way a person will use to proof their loyalty and earn the trust of their peers.
4. Provides a distraction from a traumatic experiences
A person who encounters a grievous incident in their life will always live with the trauma. They will always avoid being in similar situations and tend to react strongly when something reminds them of the past incident. To resolve this, the person may resort to self harm to forget about those traumatic experiences.
5. One feels in control
It feels good for one to be in control of circumstances. When one is able to fix things speedily because they understand about the challenge, it creates a sense of pride and happiness in them. But when they cannot find solutions for the challenges they face, then it creates a somber mood. To escape this scenario, they resolve to self harm for them to remain on top of things. Self harm makes them be in control of circumstances and their life.
Effects of Self harm
1. Low self esteem
A person will lose confidence and feel ashamed to associate themselves with others. They will take others to be above them in everything and will count themselves out whenever decisions are being made. Self harm has a way of lowering someone’s dignity to a point they cannot believe in themselves anymore.
2. Isolation
Self harm leads to a feeling of loneliness and isolation because one does not want to associate themselves with others. When they are with others, they will always be in conflict and will therefore prefer charting their own path. The person has no interest to interact with others and will always find excuses to get away from the crowds.
3. Unresolved pain
For a person suffering from pain, their one way of getting relief is through self harm. When they inflict pain upon themselves, they feel a sense of comfort and soothing power. But far from it, self harm brings more pain than it really relieves it. For one does not solve or take away the pain through self injury. They only postpone it, and it comes back more enormous.
4. Depression
Self harm offers a relief which is temporary, more often the pain remains and may even increase. The person will apply self harm measures to get rid of short term problems but they will not resolve them and this may lead to more complex long term challenges. This creates stress as the mind cannot cope with many challenges at a go. Without a place to find help, the mind will be overwhelmed by the problems and this can lead to depression.
5. Expression of emotions
Some people find it difficult to communicate their feelings and will express them through self harm. It needs an attentive person who will be able to understand these signs so that they can quickly intervene and help the victim. The person needs to be understanding, empathic, patient and non judgmental so they can get the victim to open up.
How to support self harming people?
1. Listen
The best way to proof to someone going through self harm is by lending them your ear. Listen to them attentively without interrupting. As you do so, lean forward towards them for this shows that your attention is affixed to them.
2. Attention
Many people undergo self harm because they feel that nobody is there for them and the world doesn’t care about them. By making yourself accessible and available, you will be making them willing to take their first step to self recovery. Show them attention by walking with them every step of their healing process.
3. Give room for expression
Without being judgmental create the space for the person to freely express themselves. Give them the chance to raise their concerns, and guide them with love and care so that they make the right decisions. Do not however decide for them or force them to promise to stop self harming.
4. Empathy
Be sensible and always seek to understand their concerns. If they feel they are not ready to talk yet, do not push it but give them time. Reassure them that you will be there for them no matter the circumstances.
5. Seek professional help
Sometimes our willingness to help may not go a long way in bringing out the desired healing. Professional help can be the game changer when someone has really been overwhelmed by the challenges. You can do your part but it is not enough, but if you enlist the help of a professional, things might work out just well.
A wrap up
While self harm might be disadvantageous in many ways, it also provides an avenue for people to bring out the real issues affecting them; they get to express their emotions. This enables them to get attention and the help they really need. Self injury is a reflection of deeply rooted emotional pain the person is trying to get relief from. Some will only see self harm as a way of escape albeit the temporary relief it offers.
Self harm likewise has its own dark side. The person may have permanent scars due to self inflicted injuries. Also the emotional distress can lead to depression if the person doesn’t get help early. Self harm often leads to isolation, loss of social stability and more pain. Therefore the person should be quick to seek help, for the negative effects can be long term.
Therefore it is important to understand that self harm is not a death sentence on one’s life and that it can be treated if detected early. When the signs are noticed, it is good not to judge those suffering from it. Give them room to express themselves and show them that you are genuine in your intention to help them. This will get them to open up and reveal their hidden pain. Also for someone suffering from self harm, it is good to adopt coping mechanisms like prioritization of self care and avoiding self negative talk.